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15 DAYS IN MARRIAGE....

 Still on the series:

STORIES THAT TEACH US HOW TO LIVE WELL!

Read on....

"15 DAYS DAYS IN MARRIAGE..."

By: Abundance O. Yono.

Tosan walked into the complex building of the massive drinks, merchandise company, in the vicinity of Warri. She was beautiful to behold, and everyone around stared at her and appreciated her as she took one dainty step after another. She is tall light in complexion with long wavy hair that reached down to her shoulders. In her hands were invitation cards for her marriage ceremony that was fast approaching.

she walked up to her friend's fiance, by name Rex, and handed one invitation card to him. "Please, do come, I'm expecting you! "She spoke with that sweet gentle and exciting voice engaged women normally have! One young woman in the vicinity took one long thoughtful look at her and asked "is that the girl who will soon get married and she got an affirmative answer. "Yes, she is the one" 

Then came the marriage day, an African traditional marriage ceremony! The crowd was unprecedented and overwhelming. it was at Tosan's  family compound in her ancestral hometown, very close to the oil city of Warri. Many of her close and distant relatives were  there, wearing wearing their beautiful sky-blue aso-ebi, they look every inch potential good in-laws to the groom and his family. The groom Timi who works in a federal government Agency in Benin City was all smiles in his black cowboy hat, embroidered gold long sleeve lace shirt, and oxblood rapper. His neck and both wrists were adorned with massive beads. under his left armpit was a small black leather bag and he held an eagle-head brown walking-stick. He wore black leather slip-on shoes. He looked, every inch, the young  man who is  ready to take on the journey into married life or matrimony, as they say.

The Bride on her part was the cynosure of all eyes. From the crown of her head tothe sole of her feet was a captivating array of harmonized colours. On her was a rich blend of two hearties, displaying the colour of her Gold Blouse and oxblood wrapper. Around her neck were three rings of heavy beads. Her earrings were also beaded. Gold lipstick, gold polished finger nails, gold coloured handbag and pair of shoes completed her dressing. She was a gorgeous sight to behold. She looked like an African queen, and indeed, she was the queen of the day! Hence Timi and  and Tosan's families, friends and well-wishers gathered to the celebration the take off of their matrimony. The guests were not left out. They gave a good account of themselves. The African rich cultural heritage was at it's best on that ground location.

After the Saturday afternoon ceremony, where Timi and Tosin said, "I do", the African way, the couple went home to commence normal and regular married life. They enjoyed their honeymoon while looking forward to a happy and joyful matrimony. But then, something happened! A bolt from the blue struck. Two weeks into this joyful marriage with so many prayers and congratulatory messages still pouring in, Tosan's  phone rang. She was alone in the bedroom it was mudi. Her ex, the man she would have gotten if he was as keen as she was in getting married, but he wasn't interested in getting married to her and he had made his intention very clear to her. what could he possibly want now now that she was married? She picked the call, and the phone conversation was brief. mudi congratulated her on her marriage and requested to see her urgently over a very important issue.  she asked herself, "do I have to go?" 

Mud! is very wealthy and influential, much more than her husband. He travels overseas at will and lives in a duplex built to his taste. He is a successful international businessman he has a woman in his life whom he plans to get married to sooner or later. Tosan was fully aware of this. That was why when she met Timmy, they got acquainted and he proposed to her, she accepted his proposal and were married. So what does moody want from her now? She made up her mind to go and find out. So off she went to the waterfront area he described for her. On getting to the location, a Morogun waterside café, he was not there! He apologised, asked her to come to another location. This time a five star hotel! She went there and found him in his executive suit. Here was the man who never wanted to marry her.

They talked about old times had some food and some drinks one thing led to another and before she realise what she was doing, she had slept with him. She felt so bad. She felt so guilty and ashamed.  Fear took hold of her. She became a very miserable and sorrowful young woman. Her conscience plagued her day and night until she could not take it anymore! She had to confess her Sordid did to her husband. Timi was alarmed, shocked and devastated. He was incensed and completely unprepared for what he's new wife had just told him. it was unbelievable!

Two weeks into their marriage and suddenly a great upset comes up. he was flabbergasted and Bewildered. For a moment he was speechless and when he finally found his voice he said in an emotion-laden voice: "pack your belongings and leave my house. I don't ever want to have anything to do with you again". Timmy was really enraged, and he fought within himself to keep his temper under control. Tosan wept loud and long. He begged for his forgiveness. She said: "my husband, please forgive me. I don't know what came over me, for one year that we dated before we got married, I never cheated on you. oh god I don't know why this shameful events should happen now please I beg you in God's name I could have hidden it from you and Carried on and you will not know about it. I love you. Please..." and on and on she  continued, crying and pleading.

Tosan's plea fell on deaf ears. For ti mi, to continue to live with her was Unthinkable he ordered her out of his house and out of his life. A sympathetic friend took Tosan in, and accommodated her. Some of her close friends joined her in pleading for mercy and forgiveness from Timi, her spouse. They even went a step further contact  someone Timi's  friends to help her poor oil on the troubled Waters of her young marriage and matrimonial home! when The calls and pressure became very  intense. Timi asked Tosan  and her friends to go and see his Bishop, the leader of his church. He said he was has great reverence for his Bishop and would most likey abide by his advice on the issue at stake. Before going to see the bishop Tosan and her friends went to seek the counsel of a female church worker living in the neighborhood. She bluntly told them that Timy has taken the right decision for the moment.  she further said that fornication is a cogent reason for divorce as expressly stated in the Holy Bible. So forgiving her and taking her back was going to be a personal decision!

Still undaunted, they went to see the Bishop Philip  Okpako. After listening to the grim and pathetic story, a bared his mind to them. He told him that even if Timi decides Forgives his wife Tosan and takes her back, there might be issues and to her shameful act. H also  told them that Timy will never forget this act, and would he really trust her again? After all, the marriage was still very young- two weeks old. For such a young marriage the Bishop told Tosan and her friends  that he cannot advise the Timi to take  Tosan back, as his wife. For such a decision was is a personal one, he concluded. More tears came down as they made their way out of the bishop's office. "Isn't there a way out of this? What on Earth have I gotten myself into?", Tosan moaned. "Oh God, help me!".

The worsen the matter, Timi  sent a very  strongly worded message from his Port Harcourt base to Tosan's family,  asking them to prepare the Bride price he paid on their daughter because he would soon return to collect it back! In the African parlance, and culture, that signifies the end of the marriage, and the end of a divorce process. Tosan's family was very Furious and lash out angrily at mudi, Tosan's adulterous partner. They blamed him for breaking their daughters/ sisters marriage. They branded him as a very cruel and heartless man. In  his defence, Mudi told to the family that I never knew she was married, which was a lie.  He denied any wrongdoing, saying that he did  force or rape her. They thought of getting moody arrested but the police advise them on the futility of that action. Without the evidence of rape or assult they would not be able to press charges against him!  Should she frame him?

Just 15 days in marriage. What really happened how on Earth did the Tosan, in one reckless move, destroyed her marriage. In her quagmire she desperately wanted to punish mudi for his dastardly act in taking advantage of her. He knew she was recently married yet he lured her into that illicit act that has consumed her marriage, leaving a poof of elusive smoke behind. she thought of Corningly framing him up for assault just to teach him a lesson! moody must not go scot-free! but how can he be punished for his misdemeanor. How?

In all this so many of her friends and family were  so  disappointed in her! 

Moral lesson of this story:

Be very careful with your ex. The Bible advise us that even in spiritual matters, whoever puts his or her hand to The Plough and looks back is not fit for the kingdom of God. In a likely manner, haven gotten married, mind what you say or do with your ex. Set strong boundaries and keep them. The heart of man is  deceitful  and  desperately wicked above all things. Some easily get jealous want to get back at you for getting married to someone else while they were not even ready to get married to you, or were probably not good enough for you. So it's  very important to get married and look forward-ever, and backward-never.

May God bless us with the wisdom and strength to overcome temptation at all times!

DISCLAIMER! 

The names and characters in this story are not real,  any similarity  or  resemblance should disregarded!

Read more stories at:

THE CHASE....

 THE CHASE.... 

 She was wearing a white and red dress when I saw her. I was in company of two friends who were escorting me home. I was very tired, and really looking tired. We were just turning into my street when I caught sight of her. The gaze I gave her as, she walk down towards us, was a shade too long and this attracted the attention of my two friends, who turned around to see what had attracted my attention, and smiled knowingly.

We were just strolling as if we hadn't a care in the world. She was walking faster, so when she passed us I shifted my gaze (and took her behind in my site she was simply lovely), down the street she went taking the shortcut by the fence of the house where I live. I let her go. There was time to chat her up later, I told myself.  So when we reached my gate, I pretended that night was still early yet for me,   turning around I went back shortly with my friends the way we had come, and then wish them a good night. As they disappeared into the night I drifted languidly to a low fence, where two neighbours were standing, shook hands with them, and sat down on the fence. I didn't, tell my friends what was on my mind. I was going to wait for that girl in white and red dress till she comes to pass by again. I had a feeling we would return, probably on her way back home,  then I will make the move to chat her up. Meanwhile, I and the two neighbours got engaged in conversation touching on the immediate vicinity, the approaching Christmas and New Year holidays, the general look of the town, and of course, the mosquitoes that were all the while tormenting us. A Third neighbour joined us, contributed his quoter to whatever we had to talk about, and bid us goodnight!

 Not even the remaining two guys conversing   with me knew what I was up to, or rather, planning. I, alone knew why I was still up and outside. As the night crawled on, I began to wonder if she  would pass by or whether she had passed another way home. Several times, the older of the two neighbours with me wanted to turn in, but I cleverly delayed him with very interesting, exciting and captivating stories and jokes! Meanwhile, l kept looking down the street in the direction from where  she would appear, hoping that she will come our way. If those two guys saw the frequency, and felt the anxiousness, with wish I was gazing down the street to where a shortcut  connected our street, from where  she would appear,  they didn't say anything. 

At last the climax came. My two neighbours headed off to sleep, and since I couldn't just sit there alone I got up and walked  towards my gate. Actually, I meant to pass the gate without entering, the compound, but going ahead to take the shortcut, thinking that, with any luck I will come across her. Well, it wasn't to be! When I reached the Gate at the front of the compound where I lives, I saw her coming  from the shortcut into my street. This is it. I exclaimed in my mind, "here she comes", as she came down the street briskly. I pretended to have taken a sudden interest in the lights that appeared on our top floor flat. When she was a few metres from me I started to stroll casually, heading in the same direction she was moving. I met a couple of young guys outside the next flat and I pretended to be saying hello to them, with my back to her when she passed me. One of the young guys who lived close by said: "hey, tell that girl that you won't talk to her". I felt that he must have guessed that I wanted to chat up the young lady. I smiled and went on casually as if I was not interested in her. 

 

When she reached the crossroads at the end of the street she turned left, going down Eta street with two kids lingering behind her. It appeared to me as if she was going along with them possibly, on an errand. then one of the kids was carrying something that look like Garri in a salt bag. This made me to hesitate when I reached the crossroads. As I was still contemplating whether to follow her or not she decided for me by giving the kids and herself a long gap. it made me  realise that if she was  with those kids she wouldn't leave them behind like that. By this sudden revelation I got rid of my doubt of those kids, eavesdropping on our conversation, and giving testimonies at home, if I should approach her and have a chat with her. The smart-thinking  of nowadays  kids is well-known.

 Haven got that end  straightened out,  I went after her. I shot down the streets towards her, like a bullet from a gun. She must have heard me coming. I was only a few  steps away when she looked over her shoulder, got the idea of what I was planning and slow down in her walk. "She  seem to understand,"  I thought. With long  striding steps I reached her. "Hello... how do you do?" I said, in a gentle let's-get -together-and-be friends-turn-of-voice. She turned, took my face in one brief stare, then looked on, ahead. I could have addressed the Great Wall of China, for the attention she paid me! This didn't Baffle me. I was half expecting it. I fell in step with her and we went away.

 "Are you under any instruction not to speak to anyone?" I asked her, after a while of complete silence. This got me nowhere. "Why don't you speak up... what's up?" This didn't yield any dividend either! In addition to this complete ignorance, as we went along she suddenly turned her head towards me and gave me a critical look from head to toe. The Suddenness with which she did it coupled with the rigid expression on her face made me to laugh! She was as hard as uncut diamond and quite beautiful as one. She could pretend to be "ice" I  told myself however she must melt, as all ice do. Is there any ice that doesn't melt? I guess not. With the right pressure or temperature, I  have not known any ice to defy melting, no matter how hard it has been. 

 "Do you normally treat strangers like this?" What's  up, why don't you speak with me. Still, it was a complete silence from her. By then we were approaching another Crossroads that terminates Eta Street. We eventually reached it, cross over to the opposite road on the other side, and continued  towards a massive building, called "Igbudu Upstair"  By this time her silence was really getting on my nerves. I thought  of something that will make her talk... say something... anything. After a while I tried this one. My brother has used it once and it worked. "I am following you your house", I said, with all the seriousness I could fathom. Well, if you ask me, did she say anything? I will tell you, she didn't!

She began to hum some music, shaking her body rhythmically in tune. I was impressed but didn't show it. I thought, she was giving me the impression that she was enjoying herself on my account. I felt, there was no point in walking into the lighted frontage of the massive buildings ahead. So, I told her: "I will see you someday, some other time". With that I turned back. I had only taken a few steps when I heard her ask, "time?" I said "time?. Some other time, l believe I will see you again. Goodnight", I said over my shoulder and went off, looking like  the cat that got the cream!

 WHEN A MAN GETS CARRIED AWAY... ! 

Dafe was a young handsome business man in his late thirties. he had a very lovely wife, Ese who takes very good care of his home and their three kids. They have a good home and lived happily. Before Dafe and Ese got married, Dafe was just a   struggling man. He was  not rich, and barely had enough money for his upkeep. He had to save for quite some time, for his marriage.  After the marriage, that is the wedding ceremony, things began to turn around. God smiled on him and he progressed in his merchandise business by leaps and bond. Before long, he had accumulated so much wealth. 

The marriage, blessed with three lovely children, has brought him joy, peace and comfort, He couldn't wish for a better deal or bargain in life. Life was good and life was worth living.

Money can bring power, comfort and influence. Money is the root of many good things. It also the root of all evil, as the saying goes.  Dafe began  to see things and do things he never saw or did before! He started seeing other women. Yes, he got distracted by other women. Unexplained absence, and late home-coming became the order of the day. By and by he threw caution to the winds, and became deeply engrossed in  flirting around with women of easy virtue. A man's sudden deviation from normal family routine and behaviour cannot remain unnoticed for long. So, Ese his wife, and even their kids, observed the strange behaviour of her husband, and their father, respectively. She became very worried. A threat to her family, her home and her marriage has emerged. To confirm her suspicion she even dreamt about her husband's illicit affairs.

One Sunday evening as they retired to bed, she decided to confront her husband about her fears, over his infidelity. Gently,  she asked him: "why are you flirting around, and cheating on me? Is there anything those women have that I don't have? Dafe  promptly replied: "I don't know what you're talking about. There is no other woman!"  "Who is Kate?", Ese persisted. Although, Dafe was shocked by the fact that his wife knew the name of one of his numerous girlfriends, he controlled himself and said, "there is no other woman and I don't know any kate! Seeing that her husband was not ready to acknowledge his unpleasant and dangerous immoral  and life threatening activities, she let go for the moment. She was still deeply troubled. Cheating and  denial are dangerous red flags (or signals).

Dafe continued his il-concieved dating game! He even raised the tempo. Ese became  so restless that she could not take it anymore. So, a day came when she packed her bags, and moving out of their home she returned to her parents house, leaving her three kids behind for her husband. Her husband  neither showed any remorse for his sins nor showed any regret for the resulting outcome of his wives exit from their home. He felt he was wealthy and could get and bring any woman he wanted into his home. Ese thought that her action will bring her husband to his senses. Unfortunately she was wrong. Time ticked away. Six months passed. There was no positive message or contact with her husband. Time continued to tick away... 

Suddenly Dafe's business Empire began to crumble. So many things began to go wrong!

He became confused! Initially he thought it was just one of those dull moments in his business, but he became alarmed when the dull movements persisted, and became a  permanent feature. Things got so bad that he began to sell his cars and other personal belongings to survive. He tried in vain to figure out what was wrong. All his thoughts and efforts were futile. Even his kids got the message that not long after their mother left their home,  their finances have been on a downward trend. It kept going from bad to worse.  All of the girls he dated while money was flowing, promptly abandoned him. For them, "No money no deal". Even some of his friends and family members began to avoid him. He was no longer the honey, that attracted the bees! How did he got into this state of being broke and struggling again?  From Grace to grass? "How do I  get out of this jam", he pondered! 

One Sunday morning, he went to church, and the following Monday, he went for prayers and counseling. The Minister he met asked him a lot of questions. After hearing his story he took a long look at him, and thought for a while.  Dafe just sat there dejected, looking at the  minister. He prayed in his heart that God will use him to profer solution to his problems. Finally when the minister broke the silence, what he told the Dafe was a complete shock to him! It was a bolt out of the blue. Go back to your wife and  apologize to her, and ask for her forgiveness. Take her back into your home. Dafe was  uneasy and barred his thoughts... "she won't come back to me!", he cried. The minister starred at him for a while and said, "she is still your wife. She will forgive you. Take her and go back with her to your home. Remain faithfully to her . When you've done this, then come and see me after 6 months". 

Off, Dafe  went to see his wife, Ese, her parents, and family, to beg for their forgiveness. His wife's parent  and her family members were  very angry with him and didn't want to see him or speak with him. They told him, in very strong language, to leave their daughter alone. Dafe was   was devastated. Dejected, he went away. He came back again, on another faithful day. This time with some of his family and friends. They  all added their voices, and pleaded with Ese and her family to forgive Dafe, for Ese to go back to her matrimonial home. After a prolonged discussion. They   asked Dafe to promise that he would curtail his excesses if given a second chance. After all said and done, he was given the nod- this was after Ese forgave him and agreed to move back to their home. So, he took his wife and they went back home. The Kids were very excited to see their mother once again, back home,  after what seemed a very long time.

So a happy family reunion and life resumed again, but under a very difficult financial condition. It didn't take long for God to smile on him and on his family once again. In  six months Dafe was back on track again, getting rich and famous. This this time, he doted on his wife. Haven learnt his lessons, he kept away from "those other women". As time went by, he upgraded their home, bought a car for his wife and another car for the church! He had learnt his lessons. "You don't change a winning team".

Now what really happened? Was Ese an influence on her husband's wealth? Was it just fate or coincidence.   or what?  God only, knows... all. Let's keep faith with God and men. We should endeavour to be upright and do the right things, cause we'll never know what will be in store for us when we fly off the edge or go the wrong way. I hope we've  learnt some lessons from this great story!

Stories teach us how to live aright!

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 Hello friends!

Our world is ever evolving, and knowledge is increasing, like never before. One major driver of this trend is the internet and its numerous means of knowledge acquisition and dispensation: the Social Media is in the for front of Information-Globalization! Are technology savvy? Congratulations if you are one! If not, join the tech-savvy trend and be well informed and equipped!

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IT IS GOOD TO KNOW THE RIGHT THING!

Life has taught me that in all human thoughts, spoken words and physical actions, there are facts and opinions.  So what are facts? What are opinions?
A fact  is the truth, the correct information or thing. While an opinion is somebody's (or a group of people's) view on something. This view may be completely wrong, partially correct, or 100% correct.
Only hold on to, or accept, an opinion when it is the fact or truth, or correct information or thing,
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14 RULES OF MONEY MANAGEMENT.

#Money Mistake 1:
Never borrow money that accrues interest to start a business (except if you are paying for it through your salary); only borrow to grow your business. This is because business takes a long time to gain ground and begin making profit, yet most loans repayments have to be made within a month of taking the loan or even earlier. Therefore, never borrow money to start a business expecting that the business will generate income to pay back the borrowed money plus the interest.

#Money Mistake 2:
Never spend money you haven't received. Don't even promise someone money based on a promise you have from someone else. If someone tells you: "Ezra, come to my office tomorrow at 9am and pick #30K"don't go out to buy items on credit based on this promise, with the hope that you will pay off your creditor when the promised money comes; it may not come as promised and this will leave you in problems with your creditors.

#Money Mistakes 3:
If you want to save, whenever you receive money, don’t start spending hoping that you’ll save what remains. Normally what remains is zero because as long as money to spend is available, the numerous things you can spend it on are also available. And things to spend on even incite their 'relatives' so that you spend even more than you had planned. When money to spend is not available, we naturally find a way of doing without it. That's why I've learnt to save with an INVESTMENT CLUB. Once I send money there I assume I no longer have it. Before you spend any money, put your savings aside then spend what is left after saving.

#Money Mistake 4:
When you get an opportunity to meet a very wealthy person, never ask for money. Ask for ideas on how to make money. They may even choose to give you money on their own after seeing that your ideas are great, but let getting money from them never be your objective.

#Money Mistake 5:
Keeping your seed instead of planting it. Many people stop at saving. It's very, very difficult to save and have all you need to maintain your lifestyle especially after retirement. When you save, your savings are seed; plant it. When you just keep the seed (saving money) some seeds begin to die (eaten by inflation and the like). That's why I recommend that you read about the different types of investment vehicles you can use to grow your savings. I am not necessarily talking about putting the money in a business, because you can easily lose money in  business. I am talking about putting it in an investment.

#Money Mistake 6:
Never lend someone money you are not willing to lose. By the time you lend someone money, be contented in your heart that should the person fail to pay, you will not die. You should not even lose that person's friendship if they fail to repay the money you lent them. If you feel the person might fail to pay you and this will not affect your relationship with them, then lend them money. If their failure to pay would make you hate this person’s entire clan, please advise the person to go to the bank.

#Money Mistake 7:
Never append your signature to guarantee someone on a financial matter if you are not willing or able to pay the money on their behalf. Do I have to explain that one? No, it's self-explanatory.

#Money Mistake 8:
Avoid keeping money you don't intend to use in the short-term within easy reach. For instance, don’t walk with #100K in your pocket when all you plan to do in a day costs #20K. Like I mentioned in Money Mistake 3, there are always expenses available to gobble any money that is within reach, so if you don't want to lose it, put it away in a safe place.

#Money Mistake 9:
Avoid keeping money in inappropriate places e.g. in socks, under the pillow, in a pit, in the sitting room, in the bra, in a travel bag that you will place somewhere in a bus ... impulse buying is a devil that will keep you busy!

#Money Mistake 10:
Spending money on an item that you can do without (at least for the time being). These days when I pick money from my pocket or wallet, before paying for something I ask myself: What would happen if I didn’t buy this? If I find I can live with the consequences of not having that thing, I smile and walk away.


#Money Mistake 11:
Paying an amount for something that's not the minimum you can get that same value for. In other words, if you are along Opebi Street and you pay #5K for a shoe that you can get at #3K at Ikeja market, that's a money mistake except for those who have achieved financial freedom.


#Money Mistake 12:
Wanting to be the savior of the world by helping everyone in financial need. My sister, my brother,  you are not Jesus. If you find it so hard to say no to a financial demand, you may think you are practising generosity when in actual sense you are committing (financial) suicide. We are not learning to be miserable here; we are learning to live within the boundaries of reality.


#Money Mistake 13:
Consistently spending all you earn or more than you earn. It's like having a drum where you have an inlet that's smaller than the outlet. It will never get full. And should the inlet ever reduce significantly the drum will run dry. If you do it the other way round and the inlet is bigger, it will get full and even overflow. Hence, we have to always ensure we are widening the inlet while narrowing the outlet – all the time. Your side hustle comes in handy!


#Money Mistake 14:
Thinking about short-term only and forgetting about long-term or thinking about the long-term and forgetting about the short-term. For instance, Lydia was told that there's money in land. She saved money over a long period of time and bought 30 acres of land. Now she has the land but she is always broke. She is always complaining. She's disgruntled and she doesn't seem to see herself earning from the land in the near future. Now, let's ask ourselves: Having 30 acres of land and no money to feed your family or take a child to hospital, is that wealth or poverty? I think Lydia only looked at long-term needs and forgot that she has short-term needs that require money. What of those who find they are one paycheck away from salary? Are they thinking about the long-term needs?


Let’s take stock of our finances. How many mistakes are you guilty of? Do you now feel better-equipped to do better with these tips? Good luck, savers! Share this knowledge with your friends because it will not benefit you if you are selfish with it.